The Daunting Future

My brother, Tucker, graduated from college over the weekend. Crazy. How is the whole getting old thing happening to all of us? I always thought it just happened to other people. Guess not...

We had a fun family day. The whole Broome family caravanned to Raleigh and cheered for Tuck as he crossed the stage. We went out for lunch at Kanki. The food was great, but the company was better. It was such a sweet blessing to spend a day with family.

Everyone kept saying, “Kaylee, your next.” I couldn’t even handle the thought of being next. Because what happens next anyway? What does the after look like? I began to ask myself these questions. Anxiety hit me…. where did my sophomore year go? I am a junior. Eww. Then I began to think about the American college experience: You take 4,  5, or sometimes 6 years, graduate and then go off and settle into your place in the world.

Having Déjà vu from Trey’s graduation two short years ago, I watched Tucker walk across the stage into the real world. Distracted by thoughts of my future, fear crept into my being without knocking. Just as I see my brothers transition from college and look for a place to belong and thrive, I began to question: Kaylee, where are you going to belong in the real world? I stopped myself, tuning into the gentle whisper in my heart that assured me of the beauty in the unknown.

Normally, I think of the unknown as anything but beautiful. It is scary. It is loss of control. It is chaos, but Jesus reminded me this weekend that there is no place like the present. That is where He is. My mom always says that fear is allowing your imagination to take you to a place absent of Jesus.

Instead of thinking that I graduate in two years and freaking myself out when I reminisce on the lightening speed of  the 2 years I have already spent in college, I have the choice to see the endless opportunity and growth that two more years entail. I find relief and joy in viewing it this way.

The right now is what I’m given. The where I belong is in His presence. This weekend at church, I heard "Where I Belong" by Cory Asbury. The words in this song reassure me of my identity and acceptance in his presence, not in my future.

It's hard to drop my control. It's harder not to worry about the what if’s, but right now I know that walking with him day by day is exactly where He wants me. I’m gonna keep playing this song until the words become truth in my heart.

Here’s to the next two years, the memories, and the time spent at the foot of the cross basking in my papa’s presence.


Just because this makes me melt...

Gram and Pops